Matt Landau
  • Founder, VRMB
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The Difference Between Responding with Pride vs. Courage

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Matt Landau
Matt Landau Founder, VRMB
Staff member
Ambassadors
Keystone Retreat
When I would get feedback/reviews at my vacation rentals in Panama, my instinct was to respond with pride because I created that experience!

Proudly, the good reviews gave me ego boosts and the bad reviews’ root causes went unnoticed (because I could not or would not see em) and the problems therefore persisted. Unimaginable. Impossible!

It took me a while to figure out that pride means taking a defensive stance in favor of something — I know my way best, all outside opinions are wrong and I'll prove it. Don’t say nothin bad bout my baby!

The consequence of responding proudly? Pigeon holing yourself — business gets stale, opportunities get missed, and precious energy is expended to ward off evil spirits (I mean opposing opinions) because protect the pride ego chamber at all costs! Pride is also exhausting ... ask a new parent! And unsustainable ... "pride goeth before the fall."

Better than being proud, respond courageously.

Courage is your willingness to sit down (teammates and unbiased third parties can be helpful here) and determine what the feedback/review is ACTUALLY saying ... even/especially when you disagree. The root problem is almost always several levels beneath the surface and it often touches on something you’re scared or nervous or embarrassed about. In my case, the root problem was my very legitimate fears of giving up control. Realizing this took a while!

Courage is curiosity in peeling back the layers and accepting maybe I was wrong: maybe there's a better way. Pride is trying to protect some thing. Courage is genuinely trying to better improve it.

In hindsight, pride to courage (for me) was a kind of magical turnaround where burnout reversed its course and a world of previously unseen opportunities appeared ... many of which were just kinda sitting there, only now was I paying more attention. From pride to courage, suddenly things got really fun! ;)
 
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I agree. We spend a lot of time going through our reviews. We make sure the problems in the reviews are addressed and maintenance tasks/cleaning tasks are put into Breezeway so they are followed up on. I use AI to respond to the reviews so they don't sound defensive. AI does a great job. I suggest dealing with the reviews on a daily basis so you don't get bogged down and miss something. They can be a secret sauce to future success so you don't have repeat complaints.
 
We have a process that I've begun calling a 'roundup' when we get a bad review - or an unhappy guest who is still in the property.

First: we 'round up' all of the communications that our team has had with this guest and create something of a timeline so that we know what the sequence of events was.

Second: we look at the actual thing that was at issue and then research the history of that issue in our property care software (breezeway for property care issues), our access management software (lynx for access history,) etc.

Last: we take as objective a view of the issue as possible and decide, usually with the people who will be communicating to the guests, what, if anything has gone wrong and then what an appropriate response would be. If we are at fault, we fall on our sword, offer the guest some sort of compensation, etc. If we are not at fault and the issue is something that we had no responsibility for (i.e. could not have fixed if we'd tried) then we discuss the most appropriate way to explain that to a guest with hospitality in mind.

This process orients the team around first looking to find data, then allowing data to point the way to the issue and shows us the most appropriate way to 'do the right thing.'
That is the whole mantra for us - doing the right thing. If we can uncover what happened, then we can do the right thing every time, which we will always be rewarded for. Not taking a bunch of bad attitudes and letting my staff get treated poorly is the right thing - we lead with honesty but put boundaries on how far we go when we could not have prevented something. Alternately, we react swiftly and with humility when we screw something up so that we can make it right for the guest.
 
We had this happen last year. And although I completely disagreed with the client's complaint; I understood her fear and angst. I did some reflection on what we could do better to educate the client regarding the problem. The outcome was a "hurricane box" of 'tools' put in each unit if caught in one in our properties. Therefore; I feel the negative review & phone call, moved us forward and made us stronger.
 
Matt Landau said:
I could have really used Ai back in Panama in 2007...my best solution was to take out an ice cube and let it melt on the counter before responding to a negative review :ROFLMAO:
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This is so timely!!!! I just copy and pasted it into an email to a co-worker! We might have to start using ice cubes on the regular. :)
 
Camille said:
We had this happen last year. And although I completely disagreed with the client's complaint; I understood her fear and angst. I did some reflection on what we could do better to educate the client regarding the problem. The outcome was a "hurricane box" of 'tools' put in each unit if caught in one in our properties. Therefore; I feel the negative review & phone call, moved us forward and made us stronger.
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Excellent idea.What do you include in the box? We just had our first hurricane scare here on Maui, expect more to come this season so we'd like to prepare boxes for our guests.
 
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LindaS said:
I agree. We spend a lot of time going through our reviews. We make sure the problems in the reviews are addressed and maintenance tasks/cleaning tasks are put into Breezeway so they are followed up on. I use AI to respond to the reviews so they don't sound defensive. AI does a great job. I suggest dealing with the reviews on a daily basis so you don't get bogged down and miss something. They can be a secret sauce to future success so you don't have repeat complaints.
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I tried chat GPT on a negative review...I was absolutely amazed at how good it is.
 
Jed said:
We have a process that I've begun calling a 'roundup' when we get a bad review - or an unhappy guest who is still in the property.

First: we 'round up' all of the communications that our team has had with this guest and create something of a timeline so that we know what the sequence of events was.

Second: we look at the actual thing that was at issue and then research the history of that issue in our property care software (breezeway for property care issues), our access management software (lynx for access history,) etc.

Last: we take as objective a view of the issue as possible and decide, usually with the people who will be communicating to the guests, what, if anything has gone wrong and then what an appropriate response would be. If we are at fault, we fall on our sword, offer the guest some sort of compensation, etc. If we are not at fault and the issue is something that we had no responsibility for (i.e. could not have fixed if we'd tried) then we discuss the most appropriate way to explain that to a guest with hospitality in mind.

This process orients the team around first looking to find data, then allowing data to point the way to the issue and shows us the most appropriate way to 'do the right thing.'
That is the whole mantra for us - doing the right thing. If we can uncover what happened, then we can do the right thing every time, which we will always be rewarded for. Not taking a bunch of bad attitudes and letting my staff get treated poorly is the right thing - we lead with honesty but put boundaries on how far we go when we could not have prevented something. Alternately, we react swiftly and with humility when we screw something up so that we can make it right for the guest.
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Love the set up and follow through. We do something similar to this but like the organizational aspect and flow!
 
Reviews are so hard, we put such an unattainable goal for ourselves. We want all 5 star reviews, but forget we are dealing with humans! We will have off days, we will have guests with unreasonable expectations.

We try to look at the review as an education piece. What can we learn form this to help the next guest. When we respond we really are thinking about our next guest. How can we make sure our next guest won't feel this way. It isn't that we are ignoring our past guest, but at the review point we have probably already taken care of the guest or are just hearing for the first time and educating that guest as well as the new guest with our response of we can't fix what we don't know.

We try and approach it with a how can we level up this issue for the next guest. Meaning what can we do to make sure the next guest doesn't have this same experience. It gets tricky when the next guest is going to have the same issue because item can't be fixed yet. For example, we had a window break it is taking weeks to get replaced due to many issues. First guest complained of the heat not being able to open the window to get a cross breeze. Window isn't going to be fixed for next guest so we got a swamp cooler so the next guest wouldn't be hot (we have portable a/c's as well but this one didn't have the right windows. It is taking issues and figuring out each step of the way how can we make it better.

We had a guest who was upset with the deck furniture at a house. I looked at it and it was dated. Owner doesn't want to replace it at the moment, so we went and bought new deck chairs (will put somewhere later or see if owner will buy them) and a table cloth. It won't fix the fading table but nicer chairs and a pretty table cloth is a start and guests were thrilled. By tyring to one up I feel it takes us getting angry or frustrated with the review and more of a challenge of what else can we do!
 
The best way to handle an unhappy guest is to stick handle the situation when it is at the feedback stage before it turns into a published review, if you get the chance. If something goes south, immediately REFUND money, lots of it, if necessary. Here is a good example from just two weeks ago, and it was a doozy. The ultimate slip-up. A guest was trying to be buzzed in for a late evening check-in. This requires someone to answer and hit a button to unlock the door. But there was no answer and guests sat perplexed for 40 minutes. Nothing in all our trust building prepared them for this ball drop. Finally, someone let them into the building just as they were about to look for a hotel, they did have the code to the condo door. The next morning upon waking up, I read the email, with horror. I phoned the guest and decided I must tell the truth. I will spare the details but suffice to say this has never happened before. The person doing the check-ins could no longer do them due to health/memory issues. I found someone keen, young and highly reliable and hired them that morning before my call to the guest. I explained the situation, apologized profusely and refunded the entire night approx $600. I personally absorbed this loss. The guest loved the rest of their stay and gave us a glowing Five Star review. They privately stated that as bad as it was, I took quick remedial action and she could tell I was being truthful, sincere and remorseful.
 
Matt Landau said:
Give me a negative review and I'll give you one of each!
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From the Guest:
The big and short of it:

  • The yard was terrible and embarrassing with an ant infestation and weeds everywhere. It was unusable. The owner told you they couldn’t find anyone to get it done. The gardener told me they were told before we arrived to hold off until we left. People would comment how bad it was as they walked by.
  • There were several major leaks during our stay, requiring a lot of attention and clean up. We emptied the drain as instructed after the first leak happened. This is something that future guests should be shown upon arrival.
  • There was major construction across the street that we were not informed of. This was a constant noise and we would have chosen a different house if we had been informed of this. I know there is a lot of construction in Tride. However, this was daily and invasive and basically inside of the primary bedroom.
  • The house was missing a lot of items. Management provided the items that were missing for the most part. We were very grateful for that but it’s still a hassle to have to request basics.
My reply to her, as she did not post her review:

Hi Sharon,

Oh, if only I knew the construction schedules in town, I would be a much happier person, with much happier guests.

There was a miscommunication between me and the owner. They had the landscaping scheduled and were bummed that it didn’t happen BEFORE your arrival but did not want to disturb your stay by having them do it DURING your stay. So, that statement I made was incorrect about not finding anyone. We did get the landscapers to clean it up for you, though not “landscaped”.

The leak has been addressed and future guests will be shown the deal with the drain.

We are refunding $1500 back to your card. I will have Sara issue that today, so please look for it this week. Banks are quick to take your money and slooooowwww to return it.


Her response:
Thank you for the clarification on these items, and the credit. i hope it comes fully from the owners portion as you all were great.

Of course, it came out of my pocket.
 
Lee said:
From the Guest:
The big and short of it:

  • The yard was terrible and embarrassing with an ant infestation and weeds everywhere. It was unusable. The owner told you they couldn’t find anyone to get it done. The gardener told me they were told before we arrived to hold off until we left. People would comment how bad it was as they walked by.
  • There were several major leaks during our stay, requiring a lot of attention and clean up. We emptied the drain as instructed after the first leak happened. This is something that future guests should be shown upon arrival.
  • There was major construction across the street that we were not informed of. This was a constant noise and we would have chosen a different house if we had been informed of this. I know there is a lot of construction in Tride. However, this was daily and invasive and basically inside of the primary bedroom.
  • The house was missing a lot of items. Management provided the items that were missing for the most part. We were very grateful for that but it’s still a hassle to have to request basics.
My reply to her, as she did not post her review:

Hi Sharon,

Oh, if only I knew the construction schedules in town, I would be a much happier person, with much happier guests.

There was a miscommunication between me and the owner. They had the landscaping scheduled and were bummed that it didn’t happen BEFORE your arrival but did not want to disturb your stay by having them do it DURING your stay. So, that statement I made was incorrect about not finding anyone. We did get the landscapers to clean it up for you, though not “landscaped”.

The leak has been addressed and future guests will be shown the deal with the drain.

We are refunding $1500 back to your card. I will have Sara issue that today, so please look for it this week. Banks are quick to take your money and slooooowwww to return it.


Her response:
Thank you for the clarification on these items, and the credit. i hope it comes fully from the owners portion as you all were great.

Of course, it came out of my pocket.
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Lee this is a HIGH QUALITY COURAGE response. So balanced and honest and pointed. Way to go :)
 
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Matt Landau
Matt Landau
Founder, VRMB
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Keystone Retreat
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